Last week I got an email from a reader who came with a message that was odd to me.
She said that her husband wanted that she cut her hair very short. When she was younger and fell in love with her now-husband, she had short hair but after that, she grew it because she liked having long hair. Her husband dit does not say anything about it until a couple of weeks ago and she feels pressured in cutting her hair.
After I heard that, I went on the internet and searched for things like this because I never heard of it before… But it seems like more than one woman experiences this and after a lot of thought, I wanted to write an article about it.
What to do if your husband wants you to cut your hair very short
(before I jump in the “It’s your hair, you decide what to do with it” I first want to say something else)
The first thing that you need to do (I think) is talking to your husband or boyfriend (or whoever wants you to cut your hair) and ask them why they want you to cut your hair. It can be a variety of reasons and you can at least hear him out.
Cutting your hair because he fell in love with you that way
A thing that might come up is the fact that he says that he likes it that way because that is how it all started. He met you when your hair was short and he liked the look on you, fell in love with you, and now still has the same feeling when he sees you with short hair.
Cutting your hair because he’s afraid of “feminine” women
There is also a chance that he wants you to cut your hair because he’s afraid to lose you. I know it may sound odd but some people find that long hair is more feminine and that more feminine women attract more guys. This can be the case but this means that your husband/boyfriend (or whoever says this) is insecure about himself. The fair of losing you is great for this reason.
Your husband wants you to cut your hair short because of a fetish
Really? Yes really. A lot of people have the fetish where they fancy women with short hair a lot! Now how, when, and where he has acquired this fetish is not important I think. The only thing that is important is the fact that he has this fetish. Maybe he has acquired his fetish soon after he found you years ago and found you stunning with short hair!
Okay, now that you know about a couple of reasons why your husband wants you to cut your hair, I think it is time to explore what you can do in this situation.
I think the most important part of this is the question if you’re open to a solution. If you like your hair and that is that (that’s also okay), then fine, but tell him straight.
Cutting your hair because of love?
Okay, the first thing that I mentioned above was the fact that he wants you to cut it because that is the way he fell in love with you.
Imagine this… Your now-husbands saw you walking from miles away. He saw a woman with short hair, amazing eyes, and just someone he fell head-over-heels for. When he talked to you he was so on cloud nine and loved everything about you. Especially your haircut! Maybe he found that you looked strong and independent and he likes that in women.
When this is the case I think the least you can do is talk to him. The man is honest towards you and tells you that he fell in love like that and that he still loves the idea of you with short hair.
If you’re open to the fact of cutting your hair, you might suggest a trial run and cut your hair shorter than your normal hair to see if you like it and if he likes it. Maybe it gives your love life a whole new boost!
I think the even better option here is to choose a hairstyle that you both like! Find an evening where you can both sit together and make it a fun experiment to go and find a look that you both like!
Now, I want to make sure that even though this is an option, this option is not for everyone.
If you like your hair, and/or you like it the way it is and don’t want him to interfere, then tell him that. It is your head and your hair and you decide what to do with it. I merely state options that you have if you like the idea :).
Cutting off your hair because he’s afraid of “feminine” women
Now it is no mystery that most guys like long hair on women. You see them talking about it, pointing to a woman with great hair, or even just staring at someone who’s hair looks great. And yes, this is very often a woman with long hair.
Now, you need to know that there are lots of men insecure about feminine women because it is a thing of beauty. They are intimidated by beautiful long hair because they also know that lots of men like it and the reason that the longer a woman’s hair, the more attention she gets.
Now, this is a thing that lives in them and has nothing to do with you. If you have long hair and you want to let it stay that way then make it clear to them. Make it clear to them that you love him and that you choose him, but that with long your you feel sexy, confident (or anything you feel) and that you like it to stay that way.
On the other hand, if you do not mind and you want to cut your hair in a short hairstyle, then by all means! But just make sure that you do it because of the right reasons. You cannot (or should not) just cut your hair short because someone else wants it even though you do not share that vision.
Cutting your hair short because of a fetish of your husband
Now, this can be a fun thing depending on what you like… But, yes… There are people that like a woman with short hair because for them it has some sort of sex appeal. nothing wrong with that of course, but it might come in handy when you like that stuff too!
If you want to please your husband or boyfriend in this kind of way, the only thing you have to do is choosing a short hairstyle! I think you can expect some drooling eyes anxiously waiting to take your clothes off!
If that’s is what you like then there is no problem. Then both of you can indulge in this fetish.
If you are not into that, you can see if you can meet in the middle. Maybe there are some hairstyles that you can choose that you find nice and are a bit shorter so he’s okay with it too.
The other thing that you can try is a short hair wig! You can put a short hair wig over your long hair. This way your husband has the opportunity to indulge in his fetish, and you can please him and keep the hairstyle you like!
A win-win if you ask me.
It’s the way he fell in love with you
This is something that can certainly be the case! If you had short hair the moment you guys met, it is possible that he fell for you and for your hairstyle cause for some men a short hairstyle is the way to go. If he tells you he still gets overwhelmed with feelings of love when he looks at pictures of you with short hair, you know that if you come home with short hair, he is going to jump up and down with excitement for the foreseeable future!
Here again, is the thing that you only want to do that if a short hairstyle is something you still like and don’t mind going back to (maybe you love going back but didn’t have the guts to tell him before you knew that he wants this too).
Communication is key! It always is.
What do I think of it all?
What do I think of what you can do best? I think that it all comes down to honest communication with each other. The one thing is not better than the other and vice versa.
Long hair is not better than short hair and giving in to your husbands’ request is not better than not doing it.
It all comes down to communication and whether you want this for yourself or not. You are the owner of your head and your hair and you decide what happens with it.
If you find it great that your husband would like it, but you know that you certainly won’t, then please do not do things like cutting your hair. Never please someone else if you really don’t want it yourself. It is your life, your hair and you need to choose what you want.
If with open and honest communication you can reach a compromise or you can see why he wants a certain thing and you like to indulge in it. Then sure! Go do it and both enjoy a lovely time while you both enjoy your new look!
But the most important thing always is:
Open and honest communication
Do it only if you really want to
Know what makes you happy.
Again, the decision to cut your hair is not better than deciding not to cut it. It is your hair and only you can decide. Keep the communication flowing and try to find a way to both enjoy the best things about each other :).